Where Did Those Memories Go?
by broadwaycsi
Summary: After what seems to be a normal day for Mac and Stella, a life-changing event alters their lives; maybe even forever.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey everyone! This is my first official SMacked piece, so I'm _really hoping_ it turns out to be OK. Feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism is always welcome. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Stella woke up to the soft sound of her husband's soft, shallow breathing and smiled. It was their fifth year anniversary, a day marking their love and commitment, for a full five years. She remembered the past five years so vividly, heck she remember the day she walked down the aisle so vividly. In a white, lavish wedding gown, she remembers how Mac Taylor looked at the altar, the man she knew as a stern, uptight Detective, was the man of her dreams. The past five years were a blur of utter happiness. Stella carefully pulled herself up and decided to sneak up on her husband. She leaned over and kissed her husband's soft cheek.

"Happy Anniversary, hun!" she said quietly but with a wide smile.

Mac slowly turned around to and opened his eyes to his stunningly beautiful wife and smiled back.

"Morning..." he said sleepily, "happy anniversary, my Stella." Mac said. He leaned in for a short peck on Stella's lips that turned into a long, passionate kiss.

"Mmhm...that was nice..." Stella moaned.

Their lovely rendezvous was interrupted by a vibrating phone.

"Uh..." Mac groaned. "Sorry, hun."

"Oh..no go ahead!" Stella said, quite sadly.

"Taylor."

"Mac, it's me, Don. We found a body here on 96th street. The whole team's busy working in the lab so I'm headed out there on my own. Can you meet me there?"

"Sure Don, I'll be there along with Stella."

"Thanks, man. See in a bit."

Mac dropped his phone on the sheets and finished up that kiss.

"Em..." Stella interrupted, "Hey, what was that all about?" Stella said while pulling away from her husband's clingy arms.

"That was Flack...."Mac mumbled while continuing to kiss his wife's soft neck, "He got a call...found a body...on 96th street..." Mac said.

"Well, we should get going then, Mister!" Stella exclaimed and punched her husband in the chest, jokingly. "I'll get the coffee going and I'll be in the shower OK?"

Stella gave him a quick peck on the lips before getting up. Mac just groaned and lied back down in disappointment.

_This better not last long..._Mac thought.

At the crime scene, they found a man lying face up on the ground. Several pints of blood formed a pool around the body and the face was grotesquely mangled.

"Our vic here was discovered around two hours ago, male, caucasian, 6"2', pockets are turned out so we have to wait 'til we get back to the lab to identify him." Flack clarified. "We found multiple stabbings along our vic's back, probably what killed him."

Mac and Stella started processing the scene and took photographs of the body and what surrounded it. Stella was about to take a sample of the blood when she found no swabs in her kit.

"Uh, my kit ran out of swabs. Mac do you mind if I borrow a few in your kit?" Stella asked.

"Sure Stel, it's in the truck." Mac said, while continuing his actions.

Stella headed over to the truck and found Mac's kit. Hardly ever out of stock, Stella immediately found a few swabs. She was about to turn around when she felt a hand quickly cover her mouth and was about to drag her away. Unable to scream, the man threatened her and pointed a gun to her head.

"You say another word, and you die," the man said with a raspy voice.

She stopped screaming, but inside she was going mad. She wished Mac would come this instant. She wishes the truck was placed somewhere where others could see. She wished that somehow, someone would find her, alive. These thoughts raced through her head as she thought about what she could do to save her own life. The man grabbed Stella forcefully, but she kicked a leg out from behind which stunned him for some time.

"Son of a bitch!" She yelled.

But it wasn't long enough. She tried to disarm the man, but he was just too vigarous with his actions. Stella was at no match to someone his built. For that time, she felt like she had no control over what she was doing. The skills she learned to become a detective seemed so useless as this man was beating Stella.

Someone had pulled the trigger.

_Bang!_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:Hey guys! Short update, but I promise that the next chapter will elaborate a little more. Have a question? Feel free to review!

~Enjoy!

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Mac and Don heard a gunshot that wasn't too far from where they were . They quickly pulled out their guns and ran to where they thought the gunshot came from. Mac signalled Don to split up, and Mac took cover behind his truck before turning and came face-to-face with his wife, lying unconscious on the ground.

"Stella!!!!!" Mac screamed. He ran over to her and quickly pulled her into her arms.

"Stella, Stella..." Mac said, worried, while trying to find her pulse. Blood covered both of them and he could not find where the bullet hit her.

"Stella...come on!" Mac yelled, while still searching her neck. He felt a slight beat pulse against his fingers and sighed gratefully.

"Stella, Stella stay with me, OK? Stay with me," he said reassuringly. He brought his cell phone out and ordered the paramedics to come out fast.

"This is Det. Mac Taylor, we have a detective down and she's losing blood fast. I'm on 96th street." Mac said, while miraculously staying calm.

He looked at his wife, practically lifeless, with languishing thoughts running through his head.

_How did this happen? Who did this? _

And a question that haunted him the most _How could I let this happen to her...?_

He did all he could to keep that pulse going, to keep feeling his wife alive in his arms. He could hear the distant blare of the paramedics and gave a sigh of relief. The sight of people rushing out of the ambulance calmed his nerves down a little bit, but he cringed as they stuck tubes in her, and did everything they could to keep her alive.

As he watched his wife being treated, he recalled the past events of the day. The sweet kiss they shared in the morning, the day of their anniversary, the plans they had created to share their love for each other. How in just a matter of time something can change so drastically, something so valuable could be taken away in such a blur. He ran his hand through his hair and managed prayed to never to lose her, never to lose the love of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mac felt like he had been waiting an eternity in the emergency room, awaiting the doctor on which Stella's life had crucially depended on. The other members of the crime lab were on their way, but Mac preferred the quiet. It was his time to reflect on what had happened, what had gone wrong, and what could he do, before the hectic and curious minds started to bombard him. His mind was racing, every tick of the clock passing with great anxiety, as he waited for his paramour.

Alas, the moment Mac had waited for came. He was giddy, but terrified.

_What if she's not going to make it? What if she's brain dead? How will I ever live without her?_

He tried as best as he could to keep those thoughts out of his head. No matter what the doctor said, he had sworn to himself to be prepared and hope for the best.

"I have good news and bad news for you, Detective," the surgeon started out.

"Well, I'll start with the good news, sir." Mac tried to say with optimism.

"Your wife, did very well during the procedure. She's a fighter, I can tell you. Not too many people can survive a bullet to the head," the doctor.

Mac breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, doctor. I...can't express how grateful I am for this to be successful..." Mac got lost in his words of gratitude, but a great concern jumped into his head.

"So, she got shot in the head? How will this affect her? Will she be back 100%" Mac asked.

"As of right now, your wife is in a coma. Although she had been responding well during the surgery, this period of time is just a time for healing. I can almost guarantee she will come out of it in no time. One thing I cannot guarantee, is her total complete menal state. The bullet affected a crucial part of her brain, Mr. Taylor, it's up to her body to decide what it'll be capable of doing, or what she's lost."

**Lost. **The word the stood out the most. What might have Stella remembered? And a haunting thought, what had she lost? Mac was grateful for his wife's survival, but he was scared at the fact that she may never be the same again. He had witnessed it himself; tragic victims going through life-changing events and never going back to the same person they were. It was a living hell for their loved ones, seeing the same person they've always known, yet that person was a totally human. A totally altered personality. He had hope in Stella, hoping she would be strong and not enter that phase. But he couldn't help but think about it, the frightening thought of losing his loving wife forever.

"Uhm, thank you again Doc, is it possible for me to go see her?" Mac asked eagerly.

"Sure, she's asleep, but she may be able to hear your voice. Go in and try." the doctor suggested.

Mac opened the door, and saw his always radiant wife lying on the bed. She looked peaceful, even with a bandage wrapped around her head that blocked her luscious curls; even with the tubes and wires connected to various parts of her body. Most importantly, she was breathing. She was alive.

He approached her slowly, with even-paced steps. He sat dow next to her, and grasped her hand. Just seeing her chest rise up and down with slow and steady breaths made Mac cry with joy.

"Stella, you have no idea how much I've been worrying about you. I'm sorry for letting you go on your own, I don't know how you'll forgive me for that. Just ...please...forgive me." Mac cried into his wife's hand.

He was lost at words at such a rush of mixed emotions: happiness, sadness, guilt, anger, all mixed in his head. He remained quiet for the rest of the evening with her. Just gazing at how helpless and how much pain Stella had gone through.

Mac went by the hospital every day. Sinclair had let him on a loose schedule to spend every moment he had with Stella. He wanted to be there when she woke up, when he was finally going to face her, after what seemed like eternity. Very consistant and punctual, Mac looked forward to the times he had available just for Stella. Even though she wasn't awake, Mac constantly reassured her the best.

"Everything is going to be O.K." he would always say every day. He seemed happy on the outside, yet inside, the pain was slowly eating himself up.

* * *

Mac was waiting in front of a vending machine, waiting for his bag of chips to fall, when the nurse approached him.

"Mr. Taylor? Your wife is awake, you can go and see her now." she said with a smile on her face.

Mac was ecstatic. Nervous, but happy. He wondered how she would react. To stop from wondering, he headed over to her room. He slowly opened the door and saw Stella sitting up, eyes closed, as if she were meditating peacefully.

"Stella!" Mac exclaimed. "Stella...Stella..." Mac kept repeating, as he rushed over to her side to embrace her. He had no idea how he was going to express how long he had waited for that moment, he had nothing planned to say on the day Stella would wake up. Instead of telling her with words, he leaned in for a short kiss on the lips.

Suddenly, he felt a push on his shoulders, preventing him from going any furthur. It was Stella's hands. She started to mumble.

"Um, excuse me, sir, but who are you?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Um, excuse me sir, but who are you?"

The words that escaped from Stella's mouth seemed to echo in Mac's ears. He couldn't answer right away and just stood there, thinking if Stella was joking, or if she was for real.

"I'm Mac! Mac Taylor! Your husband, Stella, we've been married for five years!" He paused to take a breath and held up his hand, showing the wedding band, "See?"

Stella just sat there, her face formed a confused and quite scared look.

Then Mac remembered, her ring had to be taken off during the surgery; it must have been with the nurses or someone. He glanced at her empty, slender hands and found no ring to match his own.

"See, I'm not married," she scoffed, "I don't even know why I'm in this place..." she started to say while drifting off.

"You were shot, in the head to be precise, Stella. You've been asleep for the past week." Mac said. And then he asked one more time.

"Stella, don't you remember me?" he said, softly.

He stood there, in complete shock, and looked at the same Stella he had always been with. But he could feel it. That feeling he deeply hoped would not come between the two of them, the idea that Stella may have totally forgotten who he was.

"Uh...OK, Mack, whoever you are, I don't see why you're so interested in me, how you even know me or why you're even here!" she yelled.

He just sighed, obviously giving up and began to sit down. He felt his police badge bump against his skin and thought of an idea.

"You see this?" he held up the badge to Stella for her to see, "you have one of your own. You're a detective, Stella, that's how we met! You're with the NYPD and have always been for the past years. Do you remember that?" he asked, a with a tone of hope in his voice.

He studied Stella's face, seeing her eyes trying to focus on the badge, as if trying to remember a cloudy memory in her washed-out mind. Her lips were shaking, trying to say words that would help her remember even a single thought from her past.

"I do...remember something about an Academy. I went there, for some reason, that Academy. We had uniforms, and the teachers were really strict...and...we had guns. I remember the guns..." she sighed, "I remember something about it, but I can't tell if it's reality or a dream?" she said.

Her face grew weary, Mac could tell she was frustrated at herself. He remembers how that felt, how she would always beat herself up if she couldn't fulfill her high standards. It was something Stella was accustomed to, it was in her blood. It had been her weakest point in this entire conversation Mac had with her, and he took advantage of that.

"You remember that Academy, Stella?" Mac asked her.

"Yes. Yes I do, but was it real?" She asked him.

"It was, and I can help you remember all those things you've experienced in the past. Let me help you, Stella, just trust me and I can help you bring back some memories of the past." he said, trying to encourage her.

Stella was on the verge of tears trying to get rid of the feeling of forgetfulness. It was an awful feeling, and she couldn't remember anyone that could help her. Except this man, a man she just met that day.

"You'll help me remember that place? That place with the guns and the uniforms?" Stella asked.

"Everything about it," Mac said with a smile.

Stella smiled back but her eyebrows furrowed in while she wondered, "How would you know?"

"I went there to become what I am today, a CSI." Mac said.

"You did?" Stella exclaimed, with excitement in her voice.

"Yeah, I did. It was awful most of the time, but I remember the good times." he said, still smiling.

"Huh...good." Stella smiled, "'Cause I only remember the good times, too."

They smiled at each other for a moment, but Stella looked down and broke Mac's glance towards her. It was silent for a few seconds, but Mac thought he'd just do something courteous to Stella.

"How about we start this over, huh?" Mac asked.

"What do you mean?" Stella said, confused.

Mac held out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Mac Taylor."

Stella reached out and grabbed his hand, "I'm...uh..."she paused and stuttered, "you seem to know my name, what is it?" she asked, embarrassed.

"Stella," he told her.

"Stella, huh, I like that name," she responded with a smile.

"Hi, Mac Taylor, my name's Stella."

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A/N: Ending on quite a happy note, there...hehe:) Hope you liked it, and let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Mac helped Stella pack up her belongings in the hospital. He needed her help, since she didn't even remember half the things she had with her. It was mind-boggling how Stella could remember how to talk, and walk, what a bed was, how she could communicate, and simple actions any person could do. She knew the basic things in life: her clothes, hair ties, watch and such. But he was so amused at the way she looked at certain things and how they work. Stella held up her cellphone and looked at it with great depth and confusion. She checked every corner, rubbing the buttons, feeling the smooth metal cover..

"That's a cellphone, Stella." Mac said with a smile.

With that, the cellphone's screen came to life, the bright light shocked Stella at first.

"Oh, that thing you can use to call people with, right? With a number?" Stella said, quite excited.

Mac was happy seeing her so vibrant and alive. But he couldn't relieve the pain about how Stella was like a totally different person. She was just recovering basic mechanical and every day actions, how would she be able to remember their past?

"Mac?" Stella said, interrupting his thought.

"Oh," he stuttered, "uh...hey, Stella, you finish packing?" he asked.

"Yeah, but the nurse said that I still have to sign some papers. I'll meet you out front?" she asked.

"Sure," he replied, "I'll just grab my coat," he replied.

Stella waltzed out the door and was already out of his sight. He reached for his coat hanging off the arm of a chair when he noticed a small, blue, plastic bag. He picked it up and found a ring, a polive badge, and a wallet, all belonging to Stella. The wallet was still full of cash and pictures of the both of them. Joyful pictures, pictures of their wedding and several occasions where they were together.

_These are her real personal belongings..._Mac thought. _Would it be safe if I gave them to her now? _Mac thought about how Stella just barely got around trusting him, let alone being able to take care of her. He was unsure of what these might stir up in Stella's past, if it might bring back an unpleasant memory. He kept the bag in the inner pocket of his coat, and thought it was best to wait a little longer before revealing these items' true meaning to Stella.

-

Mac looked over to see Stella's gleeful smile as he drove through New York City. The sun was shining bright and it was quiet; just the sound of honking cars and Michael Buble's _Haven't Met You Yet_ echoed throug the silence. That was exactly what was going on, he just hasn't met her yet. He knew that the Stella he loved anc cherished was inside somewhere. He hoped that one day, she would snap out of this forgetful bliss and everything would be the same. No matter how long it might take, how much effort would have to go in, he would dedicate his entire life in bringing back the Stella Bonasera Taylor he knew before. Right now, it was back to square one.

"This is a really pretty city, where are we?" Stella asked.

"This is New York City. The largest city in the entire country. Although it's quite busy, I must say, isn't it?" Mac said.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but it's OK, I like the busy." Stella mentioned softly.

Mac smiled. Stella was the big ciy girl. He remembers her talking about how her life would be so differen if she had lived somewhere else. New York was her true home and despire what had happened, it still might be.

They didn't talk much as Mac drove. He let Stella gaze out the window at the magnificent sights the city had to offer. She looked mesmerized as her eyes followed the tips of the stately sky-scrapers. They look on her face showed how naive Stella was to this enormous city. Soon, Mac arrived at the apartment building and drove into the car garage.

"Where are we going?" Stella asked, her voice raising a tad big higher.

"This is my apartment building. Remember what the doctor said, about how it would be best if someone would care for you the first few days you get back." he said while getting out of the car.

"And why did he say I'd go with you, again?" Stella asked, raising her eyebrows.

Mac sighed. It seemed as if the idea of him being Stella's caretaker wasn't going to be a smooth transition as he thought it would be. He still had to figure out a way to fully gain Stella's trust, as a caretaker and as a friend. She obviously couldn't accept the fact that a random stranger was suddenly going to take care of her, and he understood that.

"Stella, I was there when you were shot. You might not remember me, but I saw you. I called for the ambulance, the crew that was out there investigating turned their attention towards you. Because of that, I wanted to help you. Just like any person who needs help needs an assistant, a caretaker. I'll be that person for you, to help you adjust safe and soundly," he tried to say convincingly.

"And you promise to bring back those memories from before, like you said?" she asked.

"I promise," Mac said.

Stella looked down at her feet and thought about Mac. Should she trust him?

"Wel, if you are going to help me, why should I say No?" she asked, with a smile growing on her lips.

Mac smiled and chuckled, and gave Stella a friendly embrace.

-

"So this is your place, huh?" Stella said, while cautiously taking her steps inside.

"Yup," he replied, "small, but good enough to suffice." Mac said.

"I see..." she said, "kinda reminds me of my place, a litle bit," Stella said, while setting down her suitcase.

"You remember how your apartment looks?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, quite vividly, actually. It was about this size...one room on that corner, living room was the right sie, no home phone, I remember! Just that small cellphone, and I don't know, it seems that I haven't been home in forever." Stella said while drifting away in thought.

_You are home, Stella!_ Mac had the urge to say. He was grateful that at least, she still remembered what home was.

"Oh, and Mac, you don't mind if I go out for a few? Sight-see for a little bit?" Stella asked.

"Not in your condition!" Mac said forcefully.

Stella just frowned.

Mac smiled, "How about i take you, show you some of the best parts in town?" he said.

It took a while for the idea to sink into Stella's head, but in the end, it wasn't at all too bad.

"Sure, let's go!" she eagerly replied.


End file.
